2011, you ended good.

So I'm ending the year 2011 with a weight of 252.4!
My starting 2011 weight was 278, which makes 2011 a year of the LOSER!!  I had a 25.6 pound loss!

HOLY COWS!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm pretty dang impressed, I admit to not trying near as hard after the school year started.  And with the holidays I've been avoiding the scale.  I am up about 5 pounds I guess since before Thanksgiving, but I am good with that.

People are starting to notice.  Not so much as people I work with, minus the librarian (but we talk about losing weight all the time.  She lost 60 pounds over the course of 2 years prior to me moving here and meeting her.)  But especially people on FB.  Most noticeable was a picture of me for our Christmas card.  My jeans are about to fall off, they are a size 22W and I would imagine I need a 18W (money's a bit tight, and jeans aren't worn very much.)  My sister made the comment that I needed new jeans because they were way too big.

2011 was a hard, hard year.  We moved to a new state, changed jobs (my husband twice- and LOVES the final choice,) I had a hard time dealing with the death of a beloved student of mine... plus a lot of medical drama while we were waiting for insurance to start.  (Why is it, you never seem to have medical drama while you have insurance?!)

We weathered it... we're still weathering it.  But in terms of health and fitness, I ended it with a bang.  I had a goal to lose, and I met it.  I didn't attach a number, and I am glad about that- because I think it would be higher than what I did lose.

I'm thinking about goals for 2012.
I have high hopes for the coming year as well.

Whoa, it's been a busy fall!

It's been a busy, crazy month- but thankfully that has not hampered my weight loss.  Yay!! 

I'm in love, and it's mutual

Yup, it's true.  I'm in love.  And the object of my desires loves me too.  I wasn't sure when this started out, how it would go.  I wasn't sure what my family would think.. would they accept it?  Would the be angry?  Would they do everything in their power to derail it?

Then the "love," would it return the work?  Would I be able to tell.. or would I be doing it all...

3 months in a row.. my body is working as it should.  My weight is up from last week (as of this morning- but I knew that would happen) and it doesn't matter.  My body is working better... and even after a field trip where I had to "run"  (I tried, was a fast run,jog,walk) because of a medical "emergency" and I thought I would flop down next to them when I got back.  Running in sand is not for the out of shape... okay, maybe it is, but dang that was work!!  It took me about 5 minutes to control my breathing, but I did it.

My body loves me, and I love my body.
I NEVER thought I would say that.
Not even in my skinny/cute days (high school/college) did I think that.

4 month check in

My highest:  279.2
My current:  249.2

Pounds lost to date:  30!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I'm not officially in the 240's.  I've bounced this week, but it showed up twice.  But, still-- it's going good and I am pretty dang proud with the progress.  I've had some people saying that I should be losing more and more quickly.  But, I figure slow and steady and I'll get there.

I just want to finish the race, not come in first, or even 5th.  Just finish.

Totally random.

*  I have a loss for my sister's challenge.  We have 1 week left of it, the pot is $90 and I'm at a 2.23% loss.  Doing good, but I don't think I'll be winning the pot.

*  Been feeling quite awful since Friday.  Dizzy, headache, nauseous, no appetite. Went in on Saturday to an urgent care and he asked about a heart murmur.  Which got me stressing.  Ugh.

*  Going to work today, but feel like I should stay home.  My reasoning is I don't have my sub stuff together.  Thinking about getting a sub and visiting my real doctor today.  But it's my son's 13th birthday and I don't want to ruin it by being at a doc office all afternoon.  Of course feeling sick kinda makes it not so great also.  But tomorrow doesn't work because he has football... Friday works better because we have the day off from school....

*Exercise isn't going so great.  Non-existent actually.

*Food, not so great, no appetite since Thursday or so...

Healthy workplace.

I've got one of these.  It's pretty dang cool.  We even have a school wellness person, she's a gym teacher/coach.  She's setting up a challenge between the other schools in our district, I joined.

The local college is offering all district employees and their spouses free exercise classes.

Wellness is a BIG, BIG thing here.
And I love it.
And I'm going to use it.

Because I'm "stuck."  My weight is not coming off right now- I'm hovering between 258-260.  I would like to be 250 when I have my doc appt on 10/24.

Officially outta there!

I don't think I'll be bouncing back to the 260's, I hope and think I'm officially in the 250's!!!

What I ate at the fair.

I admit, I was a little worried about going to the fair.  Not that I always tend to gorge myself, but because I have been doing really good and I didn't WANT to gorge myself.  I can't be the only one who "does good" only to be faced with an odd chance and completely blow it.  Or am I?!

Anyhow, we went, I had a blended peach lemonade, large, but milked it for 6 hours.  Browning points for being fresh squeezed?  And I hate about 1/3 of a funnel cake.  I LOVE funnel cakes, and I was sad that I only ate some of it.  Why sad?  Well, they left it in just a second or two (or 5) too long and it was super crunchy.  I like mine soft and just at the edge of crunch.  So while I was sad, my husband ate the rest and I stayed in calorie range. 

This was the first chance since June that I really had the chance to blow what I've been doing.  Not just having 200 extra calories in a day, I mean REALLY blow it.  But I didn't- I stayed within my own limits.

Go me!!!!

Magic of a pedi & TMI

Now, for you guys who come on, this post is going to be "TMI" and you might want to leave.  For you girls, it's all about "normal" stuff, that most get- but, still, my be TMI for you.  For any of you, who, like me, have PCOS and "normal" never seems to work with your body- this is reason to celebrate for me.  And you PCOSers really will get it.

So, besides the fact that this picture if proof (for me) that the magic of painted toes works, it's also down from my typical Thursday weigh in picture.  YAY!  Granted, it's not Thursday, and I'm posting- but I won't record this.  I will however add in the TMI stuff.  This morning I woke up to my Auntie F visiting.  Which makes it 2 months in a row, on her own, and not brought on by medications.  Out of the last 4 months, I've seen her 3 times.  I believe it's a record for me.  I'm almost positive of this.

What this means for me is:

1.  Come my end of October appt, where Doc Lady wants me to try to lose 10-20 pounds, I might actually leave it with 2 medications off my list.  My only two, for HBP.  And with metformin not being added.

2.  If I can get off the meds I'm on now, and not be on met, I'll be given the green light to procreate.  Which hasn't been lighted in about a year or so, I can't remember when I was put on the meds, but not much over or below that year mark.

3.  Not that we plan on any kind of "let's knock her up fast" scenario.  I was quite firm in the "I want to get myself back in order before trying again," but it could happen.  If I get over-excited.  Which I'm likely to do.  But I won't.  I really want to lose at least 40 more pounds before we try anything.  60 would be better.  65 would put me at my goal weight.

I blame the lack of a pedi

I am up, 1.8lbs.
Bummer.

Reintroducing myself to Wii.

 We got our Wii for fun times as a family.  I got exercise stuff for everyone, but mostly for me.  Mostly for Montana winters.  I don't hardly touch it any other time.  But, a friend posted on FB yesterday about doing Just Dance 2, and I had a desire- so I went with it.

My poor little me is almost 4 years OLDER.  UGH!  Poor thing.  I did 30 minutes of the games and will retest my age and stuff once a week.  *ahem* try to remember this Melzie!

I also did 30 minutes of JD2, since that's what got me on this little track.  It was fun!  I was burning it up and I'm sure had my family been home to watch me (1 was at work, 1 at football practice) they would have died from laughter.  I am not now, nor have I ever been, very... "in beat."

But better than being in beat, I had fun, and I honestly only stopped because my husband came home.  Which meant I needed to get stuff together for picking up the kid at football, and for his evening swim party.  On my list for the next Wii play-- to see which games you can play against someone.  My son does Mario Cart with his cousins.  What I wouldn't love to play JD or Wii Fit with friends!!  So I want to see if you can.  I've just never paid attention. 

Spinning, how I've missed you.

This is our spin room.  There are more bikes to the right, but you get the idea.  I've never seen the tv used, and if it were to get turned on, I would never watch it.  I get motion sickness *SUPER* easy-- like watching home movies easy.

Over the summer I've not been to many spin classes, and today my thighs feel the pain.  But, I did go last night, and so starts my, "school's in session" exercise craze.  I do SO much better when I'm at work/school.

I also do better when people I haven't seen since June see me and say, "wow- you've lost weight!"  What an upper while I was working on my classroom digs.

7.03%

That's what I've lost since June 30th when I made a pact with my kiddo. 

In the last week I've lost 1.37%.
In just over 8 weeks, I've lost 7.03%.

YAY!

Red faced while exercising.

So, yesterday I went to a spin class.  Not anything new, been before.  But, a small confession, I've never been on a spin bike- I get there too late, and they are full, so I just do it on a regular one.  Works the same just about.  Never really cared. 

So yesterday I get there a little early, and I am tempted to figure out how to set up the "real" bike, but the instructor was busy, and everyone in the class were seasoned pro's so I chickened out.  Plus, I was the fattest girl there.  (Honestly, fat boys and fat girls are viewed very differently, don't you think?)  So I stuck to a regular bike.

3 times.  THREE!!!  The seat  setter thingie went out on me, and dropped.  Once it was funny, no one heard or turned around.  The second 1 person did make eye contact with me, and the 3rd it was a lull in the music and they ALL TURNED AROUND.  So what could I do but pretend I did it on purpose and hobble away.

Mortified does not even begin to touch this one. 

My first thought was, I am WAY TOO FAT to be on a stationary bike.
*sigh*
No, that won't stop me... but it was awful.

Make me feel better, tell me that you all have had red faced moments while exercising in front of people!

Where I've started running...

This is one of our cemeteries.  Our town has 2 of them.  The one I wanted to run at was being watered, so I did this one instead.  Certainly a pretty view!!

A friend asked me why I would run there.  So I thought I would explain a bit more.  I *LOVE* cemeteries.  A lot.  One of my favorite passtimes, letterboxing, sometimes brings me to the most beautiful, old cemeteries I've ever found.  I like to wonder about those buried there, see if I can find family, etc, etc.  When I was a kid, I'd do crayon rubbing of headstones at the cemetery next to the Ranger Hall of Fame in Waco.

On a group I joined for C25K, someone mentioned she ran in cemeteries.  She figured that no one there was going to laugh at her, and if she dropped down dead while running, she was in a good place to do so.  Made sense to me!!

So, I joined her.  I didn't drop dead, but I had a great walk/run while in a peaceful setting.

One of my big fears of running out in public is being laughed at, called lard @ss by a passerby, etc, etc... and you know what?  None of that happened this morning.  All I got was a good workout and a wave from the guy cutting grass.

Weigh In day

So, I'm showing up from my last weigh in.  (261.8) Not by a lot (1.6, that was recorded 7/28) but it's up.  Tonight is Lose It, so we'll see what happens with that scale.

Vacation is over & the results are...

My mom was here for the last 2 weeks.  I've kinda went on vacation form watching what I eat (much) and haven't been to the Y to work out or swim... it's been a refreshing 2 weeks, but we have exercised via letterboxing/walking/hiking.  But not the classes, swimming, weights, etc.  Plus with long car trips, and having more soda than I normally do- aka I don't do soda... weight is up in the air.

So to get on the scale I was nervous. 

This morning my scale has me at 260.8!

Which, looking at my left side bar, is only 0.6 up!!  Which is nuthin' I can't handle!!

YAY!!!

Side note:  I am almost officially off summer vacation.  Go back in later this week.  School starts after labor day. 

July knocked out...

3.7% of my body weight.

It was just posted on the Y's site.

SCORE!

I'm a loser bay-beeee! Sorta.

I am stressed, the last 2 days I've felt it.  I think it's catching up to me.  Child sick, mom visiting, money, school starting up, doc appt's, it's "bill time of the month" and just all of that stuff.  I go back to school in about a week.  Classes (kids) start up after Labor Day.  So I gotta find my happy place of mind.

The reason I called myself a loser is because I was the biggest loser of July for Lose it!  I lost about 3.5% (she can't quite remember, so I'm waiting to hear about it.  GO ME!!!

It's pneumonia...

and I'm eating and drinking like there is no tomorrow.

Darn the, stress eater mode.  It's not like me eating and drinking extra is going to help him...

On a roll and get side tracked.

So my son got super sick on Wednesday.  He had lots of shots (4) and ended up with a fever.  Which is all fine, but he still had it Friday.  And still has it today.  I don't like fevers, and even with tylenol/motrin they are getting low, but not going away.  He's almost 13, and I can honestly say he almost never gets a fever.  When he does, it's a day or 2- if that.  So this few days of it is stressing me out.  The kid can't be sick- we have plans.  He had football, and school registration, and family coming in to visit!  So, if he still has it tomorrow after my dental appt, I will be taking him to see his doc.  We saw an on call one Sat and she said he probably just had a stomach bug.  Me, I'm not so sure.  (I'm blaming shots.)

So I didn't weigh in at the Y on Thursday-- and when I got on mine this morning I show a gain.  I blame the soda I've been having to survive on minimal sleep.

I'll be back & normal.  And I promised myself I will be at Lose It (Y) on Thursday for official weigh in.

Out of the 260's?!

My weigh in date is tomorrow.  For my home scale (pictured above) it's in the morning, and then I weigh in the evening for Lose It.  I weigh every morning, just about (I know, I know-- let's not debate it here though!!) and this morning, this is what I saw.  I got off the scale and did it again just to be sure.

I could weigh out of the 260's tomorrow.  I won't at Lose it- the scale weighs almost 6 pounds heavier there- but I could at home.

WOW!!!

WLB update

To see what this is, you can go here.
Starting Weight:  279
Last Week: 261.2
This Week: 260.2

Week loss: 1
Overall loss: 18.8

PS:  Which sounds good, but I've got soooo much to lose...
PPS:  I shouldn't knock myself...
PPPS:  But it's the truth...

This morning ~vs~ Tonight

My weigh in this morning was a loss of a pound from last week.  SCORE!!  What I am really curious to see is tonight's weigh in at the Y.  Tonight is almost body fat percentage date.  Wonder how I've done over the course of the month.  I don't even have any idea of where to start guessing about how much BF% I might have lost... I am hoping to be under 40%, but is losing 4.9% in a month a crazy amount?  (I admit, I'm too lazy to do the math to see!)

So, in a few hours- I'll update this post.  Wish me luck!!

UPDATE

So, I lost 2 pounds at the weigh in the evening.  Looking at the side, I didn't even lose 1% of my bodyfat.  Dang it all!  But, never fear-- I did lose, and like I promised myself.  THAT is what I care about.  The continual downward movement!

(On a side note- our insurance FINALLY starts up on Monday (YAY) and I have an appt for Friday about my weird right side/breast/chest/something pain that is disguised as a wellness checkup.  Also, I have my2nd appt ever with a dentist.  I know, naughty, but I have never had dental issues, and never had dental insurance.  While we did, my husband and kiddo too top notches for need.  I came last, but now- I'm 2nd.  Kiddo will always be 1st.)

Green smoothies

So, tonight I lost 1.8 pounds.  I'm good with that.  I thought it was going to be a little more, but we worked in the garden for about 2 hours before we went in to weigh.  I wonder if that had something to do with it.  I will weigh tomorrow on my scale and see what it says.

We talked about green smoothies (among other things) tonight at Lose It.  I honestly have never thought about putting kale, lettuces, spinach in my blender before.  I've done carrots, and fruits-- but not green veggies.  She did kale, lettuce, 1 frozen banana, 1/2 cup frozen raspberries and some greek yogurt.  YUM!!!

So, it's got me thinking that I will try green veggies next!

Anyone out there big on smoothies?  Any great, yummy recipes to share?!

Holy schmoly!

So, went to my YMCA group tonight.  talked about sugar addictions, weighed in and she did a double take.  I didn't, because I've been watching my scale.  But I lost.  Big.  Like 9.2 pounds big.  In a week.

9.2 POUNDS!!!!

Wow.

I know next week will probably be very minimal, but who cares.  My goal is to not gain.  I would like to lose 2 pounds for next week, but realistically, after this week, I'll be happy to stay the same.

9.2 pounds.
Wow!

Do you count sheep?

I've not been sleeping good in the last couple weeks.  It happens when my plate is full.  I've been knocking out around 3am and up about 8am.  I know lack of sleep isn't so good when stress is around, but I just can't seem to knock out.  I'll be tired, then lay down, and literally stare into the dark.  Finally hitting the living room and remote so my husband can get some good sleep without me tossing and turning.

I've tried showering- wakes me up.
I won't try warm milk- hate milk.
Reading- normally does, but I'm not in the mood to read.
Movies- maybe I need to watch boring ones....

What do you do to snooze when you can't?

Anxiety & Panic attacks

This is for you out there who have dealt with anxiety/panic attacks.

I was in the ER again.  Horrible pain, my right arm was numb, and bp was crazy.  I left with big ol' bruises, a shot of some anti-anxiety meds, and normal tests.  Also a "go see a doctor," which I will gladly do August 1st when our insurance sticks.  (Dates were screwed up, we thought we got it July 1st.)

I've been doing some research on this.  But, I would love love to talk, email, hear from people who have dealt with it.  Mostly because everything I see is "fear," and I don't see "fear" in my life... not really.  I see stress.  A whole lotta stress.

Stress list goes as follows:

* Moved from one state to another.
* Husband went off a month before- leaving me to pack up.
* Had a serious illness happen to a favorite student.
* Same student passed away a couple months later.
* House/foreclosure/bank blocked sale drama.
* New job for husband.
* Less pay for him.
* New, part time, job for me.
* LOTS less pay for me.
* New school for son.
* New ward.
* No friends.
* Tornado in Joplin.  Most of our family fine.  One was killed.
* Budget crisis with our funds.
* Legal drama.
* Son flew completely alone, with layover.  He's 12.
* Son is in Joplin (I always stress when he's gone.)
* Son will fly back completely alone, with longer lay over in 12 days.
* 3 ER trips (April, May and July).
* 2 Urgent Care visits.

This all just in 6 months.

My stress list is bursting & I need some serious ideas to bust up whatever it is going on in me.  I've been crazy stressed before.  My body has NEVER responded like it has been in the last couple months. 

Getting old SUCKS!

This weeks plan of attack

I've got oodles of veggies from the garden (carrots, peas, and broccoli.)  My "Lose It" person teaches a lot of classes, and I'm going to go to some of them.  I should be safe to be in the sun a little bit (antibiotics, said I should stay out of it) so will be going to the pool again.  My "don't eat after 6pm" is going strong, and I'm feeling pretty energetic.

Big thing I've gotten on track-- water intake.  While I'm at school I drink, drink, drink, drink.  For some reason when I am home, I don't drink hardly at all.  I'm sure I can't be the only one. 

My scale shows a nice loss, but let's hope it stays there come Thursday evening!  (I'm behind in the bet with my kid, and he'll be home soon!)

Grand day!!

I've eaten well, just at 1200 calories for the day.  My potassium intake is low, but considering that I'm always low and am now trying to raise it, I'm not too bummed.  I've eaten everything fresh today- cherries, watermelon, peas, spinach, onions. tomatoes... well, relish isn't... grilled burgers are good... and the 2 oreo's I snuck were worth it.

My husband and I are going for a romantic twilight walk on the canyon rim later this evening.  Not sure how romantic it is, last time we walked it we some some kids crawl down and when we pat it we both said "we just inhaled!"  We giggled and called down that they were being naughty.  (Oh, and the "kids" were probably early 20's... I'm getting so old!!)

Good Saturday-- it's been awhile.

Juicing grass & sprouting seeds

Week #2 of Lose It (at our YMCA) went pretty good.  Last week I went in the morning, and my husband decided he would like to go also, so last night we went.  Which means that my weigh in was in the evening and not in the morning.  Which means I managed to gain,  Bah.

I did not do body fat, I'll do that once a month.  But I will say that my husband is 25% body fat.  He makes me sick!!  He and I so follow the stick person commercial.  Where he gives up soda and loses half of himself, and I give up soda and lose a tid.  What a dork!

Anyhow- we now want a juicer.  I've used a blender some for smoothies and such, but the idea of drinking some veggies makes my heart want to sing.  And the sprouts, my hubs gagged, but in a salad would be great.

Didn't get it...

I applied to get into this weight loss competition.  Was a short one, just a few weeks.  But I wanted in it so badly.  I'm a competitive person, I had thought perhaps it would give me the oomph that I needed.  I didn't even care about the prizes-- I wanted the thrill of the hunt.

I didn't get it.  I found out over the weekend when a FB status said, go check your emails- they went out.

I was super bummed.
I'm still super bummed.

I know it's not a magic answer.   I know it might not have been that push I want.  But I wanted to compete for something.  Blah.

So today I mope just a little bit more.  Tonight is swimming and I think I'm going to start JM's Shred.

How goes the garden?

We have plucked 3 heads of broccoli.  Some peas and zucchini.  Tomorrow we'll be digging up beets, picking more peas, zucchini, and maybe some tomatoes.  We need to prune back the broc, zuc, maters and just do some "cleaning up."

But it's producing wonderfully!!

Cool, out of the way places to run?

On facebook there is a C25K group.  I found a discussion about how this lady was feeling a bit weird about running out in public.  Stares, someone moo'd at her, etc.  This is a HUGE fear for me.  One reason that I don't get out in public much.  I stay hidden.  I've been moo'd at, and it made me cry.  It was seriously one of the WORST days ever.

Someone mentioned they run on the roads in cemeteries.  She was respectful, but figured that it was a safe place.  I thought it was a great idea, I love cemeteries anyhow.  So now I'm wondering, where do you like to run?  Or did you run someone special while you were bigger than when you were fit (for those who are where they want to be)?

Fish back in the water

Swimming laps and aqua jogging last night.

Slept like a baby and my legs aren't sore this morning like they normally are.  Cheers!  My husband is even getting into it.  He who should not be made to exercise.  I'm pretty dang proud of him!

20 pounds or 20 bucks

The kid made it safe and sound.
He reminded me of our wager for his time gone.
20 pounds or 20 bucks.

I've only got a month.  But, I've got a lot to lose.  So I think it is doable.
I weighed in at the Y this morning for their "Lose It" program.
(weighs a LOT different than my scale here at home.  HOLY MOLY!)
Did the body fat thing too.

No stress eating. No stress eating. No...

If I keep repeating it, it will work.  I won't stress eat, right? 

My almost 13 year old is flying solo tomorrow.  Not solo as in has a tag and someone keeps tabs on him and makes sure he gets on the right connecting flight.  Completely solo.  He thinks it will be a grand adventure.  I'm wondering if he'll get stranded in Denver.  Wonder how many times I can call him during his layover (just an hour, we'll not talk about the 3ish hour one on his way back home yet) before he starts ignoring me.  Leaving me to worry he's stuffed in a trash can or has his nose buried in a book and missed his boarding call.

He confided in me yesterday morning that he's stressed about it.  He said the same thing last night to his stepdad.  I know he's super excited to go see his dad, stepmom and little bro & sis.  But, this flying alone thing is for the birds.  16 is a good age.  He's still only 12 for 2ish more months.

This is where deep breathing works, right?

BTW- I know he'll be fine.  It's just he's my one and only.  This is a first.  On his first day of middle school I emailed his 1st period teacher to be sure he got there.  I'm a little protective.... but not horribly so... just a little so...

Football camp for him... and me?

This morning I will be taking my going-into-seventh-grade-son to his 1st day of football camp.  He's been waiting for this day since he was 3.  he carries a football in his backpack and plays at school every chance he gets.  If I were a better mother, I'd play with him all the time.  But, he no longer thinks I'm great at doing things throwing a football.  I'm a great cook, but not a great practice partner.  That's where he turns to his stepfather.

Camp is 3 hours, today thru Wednesday.  I'd planned on sitting there reading a book, just in case.  In case they get to use his epi-pen.  In case he takes a flying dive and breaks his first bone.  In case he gets a chance to run for a touchdown and gets it.  I don't want to miss it... 

But I am going to.  Because I decided that if he's going to spend the next 3 days, for 3 hours each day (not including baseball in the evenings (game tonight, practice tomorrow, game Wed) and life guarding for 2 hours in the afternoons) I should do the same.  I can feel his pain with him. 

It's what a good mother does!
At least that's what this mother is going to do.

At first I thought about taking Sirius (our 1.5 yr old lab/chessie) for a long walk, around the gigantic block that encompasses the field/high school/tennis courts/auditorium.  But, that could get boring quick.  So instead I'll going to be doing a spin class hop across town to swim laps (and catch a glimpse to be sure the kid is still in one piece,) and then pick up the dog and walk the block while I wait for him to finish.

Football camp-- here we come!

Circus didn't do me in.

We took a small road trip to go to a Shriner's circus.  (Shriner's will *ALWAYS* be near and dear.  Support them!!)  Being on the road meant fast food, eating out, car trip food, sitting, etc, etc.  And I have to say, I didn't do too bad!!  Even sitting next to a family (at circus) who was snarfing nachos, chili cheese fries, popcorn, etc, etc.  They seemed to always have food.

We had a bag of cotton candy to share.

Normally we'd have been the family next to us.  But right now $$$ is tight.  But, if I were to be really honest with myself, a big part of it was the mom.  She was my size... maybe bigger.  I spent time watching the food she ate, and mentally calorie counting.  At a time, sometimes still, I'm her.  Watching her, I was able to see "me" in a state that I don't want to be in.  It was the first time I could actually see someone, face to face, how I really see myself.  It was eye opening. 

We did do some letterboxing, but only drive by's, so we can't really say we exercised... though, we did park about 3 blocks away and on the 3rd level of a parking garage.  That counts a bit!

Spending a LOT of time here

 Our city pool is HUGE.  It's part of the YMCA.  Our family goes almost every day.  I go twice a day most days.  In the winter, there is a bubble that goes over the top.  So, this big pool, is open all year long.

YAY!!

The aqua jogging class (which is my fave pool class) takes place in the deep end (1st picture) and you jog (with a float belt) back and forth for 45 minutes (stretching the last 15.)  My husband did the class with me this week, and this morning he is still complaining about his legs hurting.  Great workout proof! 

All three pictures show the pool's full length.  Top is the deep end, then middle, then shallow end with the kiddie area at the furthest away in the last picture.  

It's been awhile, introducing the scale

I've not stepped on a scale since the end of April.. maybe first of May... either way, it's been a LONG time.  The reasons are I just haven't wanted to.  My TOPS chapter that I joined here isn't what I need.  I don't know anyone enough people to start another chapter.  Can't afford WW, and if I could, am not sure I would get the support I need from them.

I plan on joining up with the "Lose It" program at the YMCA.  I already go there all the time, so on Thursday I start.  But today I stepped on the scale to see how it was going.

It's going. 

Mr. Magorium is a brilliant man.

“Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.” 

~Mr. Magorium~

We've watched this movie before, but I admit, I never paid much attention to it.  I was always doing this or that, but not paying full on attention.  Maybe that's why when we go to the theater to watch a movie, I pay such close attention.  No bills, cleaning, phone calls, etc to take care of... 

ANYHOW!!

The quote above was fabulous.  I wrote it down on the back of an envelope on the table.  Right at that moment.  I didn't want to forget it. 

C25K- restart

That's right, today I restart this program.

W1D1--  The weather is cooperative, it's almost 9:30 and it's a chilly 49* out. 

Here's to getting my groove back and my running shoes worn out again!

Win, Lose or Blog-- applying.

I've sent in my information.  The pictures I'm taking just as soon as I get my camera battery charged, the last ones I have are from January.  And now just have to wait and see.  I need some kind of a challenge, something to get my going good! 

My old TOPS group had crazy games, challenges and so on-- I need that.  So if I don't make it, that's okay, But if i do make it, you'll see me cheering and jumping for joy.

I hope I do!! 

110 pound weight loss

Last night at my aqua jogging class I took at the Y, I met a lady who has lost 110 pounds in 16 months.  She is the mother of 2 little girls, and she looks amazing.  When I got to class, a little early, 'cause I'm wired that way, I felt at ease.  There were about 20 people finishing up the 5pm Aqua Dance (think Zumba in the pool) class, and I wasn't the biggest person.  Check mark for me.

Then the AJ class, and we had to move over to the deep side.  And get a belt.  The biggest was large, and I had a moment of "crap, it's not going to fit," but it did.  Hurdle #1 jumped. 

Then I saw everyone in the class.  They were thin.  I was the largest, by a lot.  I almost decided to pretend to be in a swimming lane instead... but had a mental argument with myself.  But I stayed.  Hurdle #2 jumped.

I made it through the hour long class, and at the end, while debating on getting out (it was so windy, so I knew I'd freeze when I got out) the 110lb lady talked to me.  She was super nicer, and asked me how I liked it.  I did.  Then she shared that she'd started it in January of 2010 as her main exercise, and she'd lost 70 pounds that year.  This year, she's lost another 40.  I bet my mouth was hanging open.  It was just a short conversation-- all of maybe 10 minutes.  But it was enough.

I'll be going back, every Tuesday and Thursday.  Hurdle #3 jumped.

PS:  This morning I can barely lift my arms and my legs feel like lead.  I'd planned on doing a step class at 9am, but I think I'll stay home and do a Jillian workout video instead.  Not sure my legs can handle step right now!

Brrrrrrr- but I did it.

It was 50* when I went to water aerobics this morning.  In the outdoor pool.  My husband assured me that it was heated, it might have been heated a teeeeeeny bit, but it wasn't the heat I wanted!! 

But I did it and I enjoyed it.   45 minutes of good calorie burning fun.  Oh how I've missed it!  I even showed up 15 minutes early to jog back and forth across the pool till class started.

Summer vacation

The best part of working in schools is summer vacation.  In years past, I've had a job to keep me busy, but this summer, being in a new place, I don't.  Though I have a possibility, I should know by Tuesday evening.  I've decided that I'm going to do what I did a few years ago.  (Before the, try it all to have a baby.)  My summer job is going to be to get healthy and lose weight.  I have the time, the opportunities and I know I can do it.

When I did this before, I lost 40 pounds in 3 months.  I did put it back on, and some, while we've gone through the infertility processes in the last 7 years.  But, I also know I can do it.  If summer ever comes, I have the pool (which lost it's bubble top Memorial day weekend) and I love to swim. 

Bring on the new summer job!!

How is your garden growing? (d44)

It's still cold here, this morning when I woke it was 34*, brrr!!!  But slowly our garden is looking more like a garden, and less like a bunch of piles of dirt.  Hip hooray!!  My hubs even took off a couple of our WoW's and the plants can have some real sun & hopefully warmth.  Never fear, most of our plants still have them on.  Only took off the ones on the broc, cauli & cabbage.

I can't wait for fresh yumminess!!!

grass is always greener (d39)

It's been a long tim esicne I've cut the grass.  I've always LOVED the smell of fresh cut grass, and since it was my husbands birthday, I knew cutting it would be a nice little gift for him.  I also knew I needed to get more active.  Our gras is in 3 sections, and takes about 2.5-3 hours to mow- a riding lawn mower would be nice, just so far out of our budget.

I felt it, found 2 pot holes, and hollered at the kid because he missed 2 poop piles.  I found myself huffing for breathe, and was embarrassingly wishing it was over way before it was.

I started watching "Ruby" because of a friend.  There are some really great quotes on the shows I have seen (via netflix) and I'm going to watch it and use my step. I'd still like to find a walking buddy or something-- this sideview picture made me quite blah.  The back rolls & but/gut is icky.

This morning there is a cross country meeting at school.  I asked my son to go to it, they are giving out running logs.  He said, the kid, that he "might" do it with me.  He did it before, but isn't as impressed to do it now.  Joe would, but he'll tick me off.  I can't exercise with him.  Long time readers will remember why, I'll have to link it all later.  :)

baseball (d37)

tonight starts, officially, baseball practice.  my husband is the coach, and i have a plan of attack.  i'm going to the y, right across the street from where they will practice, while they do practice.  i'd play with them, sorta, but my kid doesn't want me to watch.  i wanted to be the coach, but he nixed that, favoring my hubs.

happy news- i'm feeling better, sleeping better, and i think i'll be starting up my morning spin class tomorrow again.  while i wasn't sleeping well, i couldn't get there, but now- i can and will!  i'm excited, i have missed it.

Breaking news

my sons father is okay.
his step-mom is okay.
his baby brother and sister, okay.
his nonni- not okay.

might seem weird to most, but our two families get along quite well.  i love their 2 kids as if they were my own.  it's just what it is, 10ish years can do that i guess. 

sunday evening was a mass of trying to call 3 people.  calling their family to let them know they were okay.  trying to reach nonni, over and over and over again.  telling her we were worried, to please call, walk, get on tv, something.  i left so many messages for her... so many texts flying back and forth.  more texts that i have ever done, let alone in a single evening.

keep joplin in your prayers.  they need it.  and especially those who found their own loved ones.  red, my childs stepmom, found her own mom.  it made me crumble.  and i know she is not the only one.

my heart swells though, that i do not have to explain to my 12 yr old that more of our family passed.  but explaining nonni was enough.

rip nonni-- you've touched many.  thank you for loving my son.  he sure loved you.

TMI Thursday's

On facebook, one of my groups has a too much info Tuesday.  I have days where I have that kind of news to share-- and figured I'd do it on Thursday!  Plus, today I have some great news.  I shared it with my husband, but he just shrugged.  But I know other PCOSer's and people wanting to get knocked up would get it.  I started.  On my own.  No drugs (cause we aren't doing it anymore,) no creams (we haven't done that in a long time,) not even me getting back on BCP's (which we're waiting till June, when we get our insurance back- bummer of job changing.)

ON MY VERY OWN!!!

It's not often that people get excited, but let me tell you- I need proof that my body knows how to work, that it can work, and that my girly bits don't hate me as much as I fear they do. 

Weigh In (Day #25)

Lost 1.5 pounds.

What I did... I spent the week not worrying over every little piece of food I stuck in my mouth.  I stress over everything- to an extreme, and I walked away from it.  I made sure I knew what I was eating, what I was doing.  But I ate what I wanted.  Stopped when I needed.  Made sure that my hunger levels didn't get to a 9 or a 10.  I made it through the week without gorging so much I felt ill.

Plus I spent Sunday & Monday sick.  :)

I still lost though, was pretty happy with that!

weigh in, day #18

gained 3 pounds.
i'm good with that.
i've also found 2 co-workers who are trying to lose weight. 
one is doing it a way i won't, the other is tiny, but needs/wants to lose 15.
so a challenge is on for us!

unconventional exercise (D.13 & 14)

Yesterday evening I went and helped our school librarian move stacks.  Heavy stacks.  And books.  Lots and lots of books.  When we left about 8:30pm it looked amazing.  And our arms and legs were sore.  Even with 6 people helping, it was a lot of work.  Wish I'd worn my pedometer!!

today, we have been staining our deck and trim.  Oh, and the new dog house, and whenever my husband finishes them, new flower boxes that will go on top of the dog house.

Lots of calories burned, muscles worked and I'm feeling good.  Even if right now I smell like stain. 

What I love most about spring/summer?  It's the weather that allows you to spend all sunlight hours outside and be happy and warm.  I'll forgive MN (aka, mother nature) for making it snow yesterday, 'cause today was pretty close to perfect.

the weigh in that wasn't (Day #12)

I did not weigh in yesterday.  My stomach was all twisted and I felt like blah.

The reason I felt so blah, was that Tuesday evening I had a craving for salt.  And oreo's.  And just everything I have been avoiding or eating less of.  I never felt like I was missing out, but a flipped switch, and there I was.  Eating way too much, or things that weren't smart, and not being able to stop.

By yesterday after work, I felt truly sick.  Didn't go weigh in, and haven't stepped on my scale.  I know I have  again, but I promised myself that I would give myself till Saturday to step on.  No sense in torturing myself further...

I'm not even sure why it happened... I really am not.  My stress isn't out of control right now... not major is happening at the moment... and the sky is blue.

A friend suggested that perhaps I wasn't getting enough salt/sugar in my diet.  Which, I guess could be true... I don't add salt to anything (HBP) and I don't like sweets much... but I'll figure it out. 

And ban my husband from showing me oreo's he's purchased.

Day #9, looking in the mirror.

I've been thinking for a little while about how my self-esteem isn't so hot.  I rarely look in the mirror... I don't really care about how I look when I go out... I want comfort, easy and not to mess with anything.  On Saturday, after planting the garden, I realized that I missed the fuss.  I've not fussed since moving hear.  No makeup, I dress nicer for work, but come home and change to sweats.

I vowed to myself I would change that.  I'd start with my hair.  It's the one area I do spend time on.  I have a curcly, crazy mop on top of my head.  It's growing out, again, and while it does, if I don't do something to it, it goes all Medusa on me.  Really. 

So, I made cute little hair stuff.  I've been doing a lot of bobby pins, and why not dress them up.  Saturday evening was spent with a  hot glue gun, buttons, bling, metal, ribbon and fabric.  I had such a good time, and can't wait to jazz up my head. 

It's amazing to see how much it effects you...  you are what you think, and I'm going to do my best to be sure to think more positive.  Healthy from the inside out.

Day #7, putting in the garden

 So, we don't have a community garden plot like we have for the last 2 years.  Instead, we have a 30X30 plot at my MIL's house.  She's not used the entire thing since my FIL passed away about a dozen years ago... she just plants a few tomato plants and calls it good.  Now that we live here, we're taking it over, and it's going to be a MASSIVE crop.  I see a lot of canning & freezing in our future.  A lot.

It's amusing to me, a bit, how many people didn't know what Walls of Water were.  Well, the green things right over there are them.  Never fear, I had no idea what they were either until 2 years ago when I started gardening.  They are a MUST have for Montana, and here as well.  

The white things are hot caps, which still protect the plants, but are cheaper.  We have about 30 WoW's and about 20 hot caps placed around... Even with no much plant growth, the garden is certainly colorful!!

We have planted, so far:  strawberries, peas, cucumbers, cauliflower, broccoli, tomatoes, asparagus, rhubarb, zucchini, beets, sunflowers, watermelon, cantaloupe, chives... and a load of peppers... lots of different kinds...  We still have beans to put in, and the kiddo wants brussel sprouts... but then I think that's it.  We'll be planting lettuce, spinach, and most of our herbs here in containers at our place.  Plan on building those this next weekend.

Idaho has a MUCH longer growing season, so I know we should be good for freshness.  And it does my heart good to know we'll be saving a lot of money as well.  It's expensive to eat health, and a garden will certainly help!

I'm a bit nuts.

I started back up jogging/running/walking yesterday.  It's been about 3 weeks, maybe 4 since I've done it.  Because the weather is nasty, and we gave away our treadmill when we moved- I decided that our home made the perfect circle.  So, I did it inside.  Sirius sat at the end of the corner and just watched me.  I'm sure he thought I lost my mind.

Then my son came home- and said, "what the heck are you doing mom?"  I made him take a picture. 

While I won't stay inside forever, I will till I build up my endurance a bit.  I was pretty sick, and I still am sleepy a lot of the time.  So, I need to start this up slowly.  I did forget to wear my pedometer, but I did 10 laps before I stopped.

Day #4 (Weigh In)

Weighed in at 272.0 at TOPS.

That made for a 5.25 pound loss!!

I came home and immediately weighed on my scale.  It said 267.8, so there is the difference between the two of them.  Just about 4 pounds.  So now I can know how those rank together.

My first mini goal, to have a 6 week losing streak.

Rapids are out there!

Of all the pictures I took of retreat, the series of people going down the rapids at Payette, keep making me look closer.  Over and over again. 

Do you think they were scared?  Excited?  Nervous?  Insane?  Envious of those on dry land?

What about those driving by, or pulling off to watch?  All the same feelings, excluding, they want to be in the water too?

For me- yup.  I was all those thinking watching them.  including envious!  Do I think I would ever be brave enough to kayak that crazy of rapids?  Probably not while I have a child at home... but I wanted to be that brave.  My heart raced while watching them.  I wanted to hoot and holler and cheer for each as they made it through this one super hard section.  I REALLY wanted to hoot for one guy he flipped and got himself righted back again.

So-- this is how I'm seeing my journey.  I REALLY want my weight to come off.  To be healthy, to be like most everyone else.  I am jealous, and not afraid to admit it, of people who have completed their journeys.  I'm there in those rapids, trying to figure out my way, how to work the oars, to stay upright, etc.  I'm learning, I'm figuring it out, and I'm trying.

And trying?  It's doing something, which is better than not doing anything.

MCall, Idaho TOPS retreat!

 I spent the weekend in McCall, Idaho at a TOPS retreat.  It was a struggle within myself to go, or to be up in Montana with my friends and with Josh's dad for his benefit and to pay my respects in person.  That war was given the, "you've done all you can, and go destress at retreat."  So I went-- and my thoughts were up in Hamilton for most of the weekend... but I did need to regroup.

These 6 men who were riding the rapids fascinated me.  My husband called them crazy- I called them brave.  And ready for the fight.  I watched them and made j pull over so I could watch them come down to me.  they pushed hard, only 2 tipped over at our spot, and they were on their way again.  I cheered for them!

I'm thinking the retreat, for me, gave me some supplies I needed, and will, I hope, carry me on for awhile. 

One thing that wasn't planned was a trip to the ER on our return home.  Got an EKG, blood work, and super fast service.  I've been having these bizarre chest pains/weirdness/flutters/something for a week.  Sunday night, they got bad, freaked me out, started getting sick and I decided I needed to go in.  My BP was crazy.  but EKG was normal (thank HEAVENS) and everything else looked good.  The blood work showed that my potassium was very low, which makes things not so good, and that I needed to rest more.  And take up yoga.  They think it's just all the stress going on in my life, mixed with my HBP, it was a weird mix up.

My Cousin It--- it's being a control freak and worrying about EVERYONE out there.  My friends, family, ex's, government, banks, everything & everyone.  I worry--- and this time, it about took me down.

It's time to refigure out what I need, what I gotta do, and what *I* know I can achieve to make me better for me.

My Day One (Official Restart Date)

I'm starting over.

Before picture, after retreat.

I'm READY!!

Stress eating & heartache.

When I'm happy I don't eat.  When I am sad, I do.
I had a 1/4 pound gain last night...

This morning I woke up to a text saying that a student passed away.  Not just any student, one I had from freshman to senior year.  He's been battling cancer since Christmas.  He's 18.  He graduated in June.

My heart is in a million pieces, his benefit is on Saturday... waiting to hear about his funeral.

going to try to stay away from food while I process.  I feel sick to my stomach.  If you pray, pray for his dad Mike.  It was just the 2 of them. 

It's makeover time

I went through the cabinets and the fridge.

I went through drawers and my closet. (Donated all clothes too big, and way too small.)

I made a weekly menu and alternate for the other family members.

I have my ipod charged.

New shoes broken in.

TOPS retreat this weekend.

CHARGE!!!

Bribery-- it can work.

I'm bribing my 12 year old.  He doesn't get an allowance, but I told him last night that if he can keep me on track I'll pay him $1 a day. 

Keeping me on track means:

*Going on a walk with me
*Making me take him (therefore me) to the Y
*When I suggest eating/snacking after 7pm, telling me it's late
etc, etc, etc.

He's game, I'm game-- it sounds like it could work.
YAY!

Wednesday Morning--

Today is my TOPS weigh in day.  So, on the scale to see what it looks like... 

SCORE!

Official weigh in is at 4:30pm.  But, I'll have a personal loss... as far as a loss with TOPS chart, not sure... it's been 3 weeks since I've been.. and I haven't been tracking very well... But plan to be NOW! 

Which is what counts, right? RIGHT!

Take 2 in 2011

Here is our cheep little scale.  I will be going back to weighing in every day.  Which helps ME keep track of how I am going.  I'm going to find my ipod, haven't seen it since we moved, so I can restart Couch to 5k.  I plan on going to the YMCA at least 2 mornings a week (5am mornings.)

This number to the left.  Made me sad.  But, it's a starting point.  I'm trying to figure out some kind of checks and balances.  I have a little frog bank and thought about putting $$$ in it every time I exercise, lose weight, etc, etc.  But, what about a counter thing-- if I have a gain, don't meet my exercise goal, etc, etc.

What I would really love it a buddy.  Someone who was about my size, wanted to do what I want to do, and we could keep each other up.  It would be even more awesome to have someone IRL to do it with.  But, the only friends I have here are my 12 yr old son, my husband, and my MIL. 

So-- I'm turning to you all!!  What do you do for checks/balances and to keep you on track?  Do you chart?  Do you add stickers, money?  Do share and tell!

Scare tactics & medication

Because of our move, and new job, etc.  We are without health coverage until mid summer.  Leave it to me to get sick.  Super sick.  My crazy strep throat came to attack on Wednesday.  I couldn't swallow without almost passing out from pain.  I talked like I have a mouth full of cotton balls.  So off to urgent care and forking over $100 instead of our normal $20 copay.

He wasn't concerned with my throat.  He was concerned with my blood pressure.  A reading which caught me in a "no way," but maybe it was wrong...  I've had high BP for awhile.  Stopped taking the meds, I know- bad, but thought I was taking control.  Obviously not.  he encouraged ("you had better...") me to get my prescription called in and to take it.  I started taking it on Thursday, and besides feeling light headed, and semi out of body experience, I feel no different. 

But he scared me.  Maybe a scare is what I need.

Tomorrow starts my "Take 2."  We got a scale.  I got my slimfast (because I never eat breakfast, and this works for me,) and I have promised myself to exercise every day.  Even if it's just the walk with the dog in the morning. 

I mean it this time.  Because I don't want to have a stroke, a heart attack, or worse- be dead.  I do want to feel good, not breath hard, and look cute.

Flying, vacation & fitting in the seat

I never voiced my fear of my upcoming vacation.  I worried about if I would need a seat belt extender.  I've not flown in about 7 years, and in those years I've found myself almost 60 pounds heavier.  I contemplated asking people, even in the airport, who looked my size.  But I didn't want to stress myself out, them out, or even start the tears rolling if I needed one.

I fit.  No extension needed.
I was elated.
I couldn't even tell my husband what a relief it was.  I was too  nervous over it to even tell him my fears... silly, I know, but whatever.

The vacation though?  Disaster.  We spent over 9 hours trapped in the Las Vegas airport.  Just to finally catch a flight to Salt Lake and have my husband drive down to get us.  It was that, or be stranded in Vegas till Wednesday, hoping to get to Orlando, and then come home on Saturday.

My 12 yr old said the day was a "0" on a scale of 1-10.  A zero.  We had such plans... Disney, Animal Kingdom, the Space Center, some fort in Jacksonville, the beach, alligator spotting, etc, etc, etc.  Now, it's not going to happen.  I'm fighting the urge to eat, which is how I deal with this kind of stress.  A little bit amusing because of what I said at the very top. 

However, I've not done it, and will figure out some way to salvage spring break and maybe even get myself back on track.  Starting with getting a scale again.  I need that visual.

Words will never hurt me? LIES!

"Hey Melzie, I have some pants I can send you.  They absolutely swim on me, so I bet they would fit you."

AKA

"Hey Melzie, You're a big, fat, lard @ss.  I'm eating 600 calories a day and have lost a gajillion pounds.  Here is some charity for your big butt and gut."

(Do not be confused, I love charity & sharing & passing on clothes.  However, I'll be dead if I pull these pants over my feet and up to my butt.)

Bathing suit confessions (aka: horror stories)

Oh the HORROR.  This is what I looked like going to water aerobics.  I look like I am ready to deliver a baby.  Which would be good- except I AM NOT.  I wish I were, but I'm not.

And that extra skin below my chin.  Yeah, that need to go.

And the bat wings-- which I've never notice, but how could I miss?

Never fear, water aerobics was a good thing.  Enjoyed it, my arms ached, and my legs felt it.  I will go out in public again wearing this suit.  I was worried, as always, that I would be the biggest person.  And I was one of them.. but I was there.  Exercising. 

That's what counts!

My current weight chart...

I can't find my weight book yet.  (Give me a break, we've been here 2 weeks and I'm slightly depressed about my lack of friends situation.)  So I snapped a picture of my weigh in chart.  6 weeks of losses, 2 gains, but I'm still down for the year.

Chin up Melzie!!

I've highlighted the Y's class schedules.  And I plan on keeping to my schedule as much as possible.  My morning will still be my main time, unless my husband has to go into work early. 

We visited the pool yesterday and I will be going there a lot as well.  I'm not much for new places on my own.  I'm a chicken, but now I've seen it.  I know what to expect, so BRING IT ON!

5:15am Spin Class...

"Life is like riding a bicycle -
in order to keep your balance,
you must keep moving."
 ~Albert Einstein


This quote got me this morning.  I'm still trying to feel my legs, they ache.  But I feel good.  I wasn't really going to go to a class so early in the morning.  But, with the dog escaping last night, and my not sleeping so well, I went ahead and hit the class.  I figured there wouldn't be too many people there. 

Boy was I wrong!!

The class was full.  I saw only a couple bikes empty, and I snagged a normal bike in a back corner.  I still kept up with them, I still did it all, but not on a spin bike.  *hanging head in shame*  There were at least 30 people in that class.  Did I mention the time?  5:15AM, pre-dawn, no sun, ice on the windshields... EARLY.

Nice thing though, no traffic, got in, got out and got showered before my son's alarm went off.  My husband was even still in bed when I let myself back into the house.  Hot breakfast made, lunches packed, and we had time to joke around before everyone left me home alone.

I think I'm going to stick to the 5am drill...  even after the kennel gets made like a prison.  Something about being ready to go so early-- makes me happy.

Yyyyy MCA!

So we finally got there.  Kid had the orientation.  I took a Zumba class.  Husband lifted along with kid after the orientation.  The music was loud, I still can't wiggle, but I popped my hip, and that was good.  It has been tweaked for a couple days now.

Came home to an escaped convict.  Black, furry, answers to "hey dog!"
He got out.  Again.  ARGH!

I may not be back there till next week. Dog can't be trusted, and I refuse to let him run around crazy.  He's almost 100 pounds of lovable slobber.  But only our neighbor knows that.

I'm back!

We are moved, but not fully unpacked.
The kid is registered in school.
I've found the library, his school, my MIL's house and a great trail to walk the dog.
I've even found a TOPS group to join, and weighed in last night (where I lost almost as much as I gained last week in the middle of stress eating & packing.

Weigh In 4/2011

And it's a loss.  Again!!!  I hope the streak continues!

Hit the road Jack... errrr Frog family

Our family is moving back to Idaho- but not the Boise area like before.  This time it's Twin Falls.  My husband grew up there, I've spent a lot of time there, and all 3 of us are very excited!!  It just came up as a possibility a little over a week ago. Friday he went on 5 interviews, and he picked this one.  He leaves this coming weekend, with us to follow as quickly as we can.

I'm a believe in things happening for a reason.  I know that this is an answer to our prayers and to my sanity levels.  Montana is beautiful-- but I miss being in a city.  3,000 is a number for students enrolled in a high school, not a town!  *wink*wink*

So, I maybe be hit and miss-- but I expect to reveal a lot more exciting stuff once we get settled!  We are in for a ride this spring!

The high school weight room

It's evil.  We went up yesterday after school and I think I left my shoulders & back muscles up there.  I was so red faced about my lack of strength.  But, you gotta start somewhere, and I'm starting.  I had the same sensation in there that I did crossing my first 5K.  When I was dead last.  (Who am I kidding, I've always finished dead last!)  People cheering and hollering for me.  Felt like I was a spectacle.  I'm more of a loner when I lug my fat cells into battle. 

The room and I have a standing date for Tuesday & Thursday.  Onstanding.

The numbers say...

A loss of 2.4 pounds. 
Two thumbs.
I seriously need a toe paint job.

Feeling quite blah & random.

I'm back in my workout groove.  It's amazing (horrifying) that after just 4 weeks off, I am so out of shape.  I was so THERE.  I didn't feel fat, and completely ridiculous while shaking my hips, belly dancing, and pretending I could be Shakira during Wakka Wakka.

Tonight, in a smaller class, I felt just that way.  I'm 4 classes "back" and tonight the class was filled with super dancers and athletes.  I tried to hide in my back corner... but that didn't work during one Michael Jackson song... we had to turn, I couldn't figure out the foot work.  For 12 LOOOONG counts I was staring at them while they wiggled staring at me.

I cried on the way home.  Pretty pathetic.  I almost came home and ate.  A lot.  But I didn't.   I filled a glass with ice, poured in some crystal light pink lemonade, and took a super hot shower.  I put on fuzzy jammies, and started watching the new season of BL on the dvr.  (Have watched bits and pieces, tonight I'm watching it all.)  I promised myself if I ate, it would be a yogurt.  But the drinking is working-- the hunger (stress) has passed.

I want this so bad. 
I want to be healthy.
To not be morbidly obese.
To not be obese.
To be able to finish a 5K in under 40 minutes, instead of the hour.
I want to wear clothes without the "W."
To not look pregnant, because I want to really be pregnant.

Tomorrow is my weigh in day.  I hope I met my 2 pound "self" challenge. 

Wi #2 (BCBS-MT)

I stayed the same.  Did good on my goal- which was to get back to exercising regularly.  the other goal was to lose 2, didn't happen- but my official weigh in is Wednesday with my TOPS group.  The 3rd was to give up soda.  I was doing good until Sunday.  Then I had 2.

Weigh In (Jan 2011)

275.8

Loss of 2.2

BCBS- Montana challenge

We have a school team, with 16 people on it so far!  Today is our first official weigh in for that- even though my weigh in is on Wednesday's, I will be weighing on Monday for this.  So what to do, take a picture of my weigh in both times... or keep it to Wednesday's...

I think I'll keep it to Wednesday's-- don't want to have zillions of pictures of my feet/scale on here all the time.  Certainly not each time I end up posting either!!  I'd scare off the 2 people who read me. 

This morning:  275.4  Which is a loss from my first weigh in on the challenge, 278.

My BMI:  40.67
Morbidly Obese.
But f I get rid of .68 I will just be obese.  That's my next week goal...
Made me cry/gasp a bit to read that number.
More than the scale.

I've got scary pictures to upload too.  Crazy hair didn't help-- but it made me feel a little better.