I'm back in my workout groove. It's amazing (horrifying) that after just 4 weeks off, I am so out of shape. I was so THERE. I didn't feel fat, and completely ridiculous while shaking my hips, belly dancing, and pretending I could be Shakira during Wakka Wakka.
Tonight, in a smaller class, I felt just that way. I'm 4 classes "back" and tonight the class was filled with super dancers and athletes. I tried to hide in my back corner... but that didn't work during one Michael Jackson song... we had to turn, I couldn't figure out the foot work. For 12 LOOOONG counts I was staring at them while they wiggled staring at me.
I cried on the way home. Pretty pathetic. I almost came home and ate. A lot. But I didn't. I filled a glass with ice, poured in some crystal light pink lemonade, and took a super hot shower. I put on fuzzy jammies, and started watching the new season of BL on the dvr. (Have watched bits and pieces, tonight I'm watching it all.) I promised myself if I ate, it would be a yogurt. But the drinking is working-- the hunger (stress) has passed.
I want this so bad.
I want to be healthy.
To not be morbidly obese.
To not be obese.
To be able to finish a 5K in under 40 minutes, instead of the hour.
I want to wear clothes without the "W."
To not look pregnant, because I want to really be pregnant.
Tomorrow is my weigh in day. I hope I met my 2 pound "self" challenge.