Monday, April 18, 2011

MCall, Idaho TOPS retreat!

 I spent the weekend in McCall, Idaho at a TOPS retreat.  It was a struggle within myself to go, or to be up in Montana with my friends and with Josh's dad for his benefit and to pay my respects in person.  That war was given the, "you've done all you can, and go destress at retreat."  So I went-- and my thoughts were up in Hamilton for most of the weekend... but I did need to regroup.

These 6 men who were riding the rapids fascinated me.  My husband called them crazy- I called them brave.  And ready for the fight.  I watched them and made j pull over so I could watch them come down to me.  they pushed hard, only 2 tipped over at our spot, and they were on their way again.  I cheered for them!

I'm thinking the retreat, for me, gave me some supplies I needed, and will, I hope, carry me on for awhile. 

One thing that wasn't planned was a trip to the ER on our return home.  Got an EKG, blood work, and super fast service.  I've been having these bizarre chest pains/weirdness/flutters/something for a week.  Sunday night, they got bad, freaked me out, started getting sick and I decided I needed to go in.  My BP was crazy.  but EKG was normal (thank HEAVENS) and everything else looked good.  The blood work showed that my potassium was very low, which makes things not so good, and that I needed to rest more.  And take up yoga.  They think it's just all the stress going on in my life, mixed with my HBP, it was a weird mix up.

My Cousin It--- it's being a control freak and worrying about EVERYONE out there.  My friends, family, ex's, government, banks, everything & everyone.  I worry--- and this time, it about took me down.

It's time to refigure out what I need, what I gotta do, and what *I* know I can achieve to make me better for me.

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