Saturday, February 6, 2010

You aren't even fat.

That's not what someone said to me, but instead what I said to a co-worker.

Basically this week was semester exam week. A very boring sort of time for us really- we had a lot of downtime. However, once a day for about 30 minutes 3 of us would get together and clothes shop online while we had a chance. The sites we looked at were the same, though I was very much a different size than them.

H & M are probably the 2 I talk with the most at school. They are size 6-8, me? I'm a 20W. M is trying to lose about 10 pounds, she's a tiny little thing, maybe 5 foot. H is taller, about 5'6" and has taken up running when school started because people keep asking her if she's pregnant. She's literally turned into a twig with boobs. However, yesterday she was complaining that she was asked yet again if she was pregnant. I suggested maybe it was because she had lost so much and now her chest looked so big in comparison. She said nope, it was because of her pooch. Which is seriously, not there. But, went on and on about how fat she was and how she needed to lose another 20 pounds.

My jaw did fall of my face, because afterwards she asked what was wrong. When I told her my theory- that yes, I was fat, yes I was trying to lose, and yes I got pregnant comments- but that she looked awesome and anything but fat. She just laughed and said our fat was different.


So I came home and couldn't stop thinking about it. Granted, I've never been a size 6. The smallest size I can recall was a 12, in junior high, and 14's all through high school and college. I'm taller, 5'11", and bigger boned, my hips bones stick out. I still can't stop thinking about her comment...

I'm not totally sure why it bothers me so much. Except for the fact that she is so unhappy in her own skin. I'm happy in mine- not content, but happy. I've embraced that this is me- all it'simperfections and rolls. I am content to work on myself and to bring my body on a trip to healthier and weighing less. Shopping for smaller sizes too.

Anyhow.. I'm rambling, but I had to perge it...

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