Brushing myself off & going again

I admit it- I had a crappy March. This mornings weigh in proved it- I had a gain, a big gain. I didn't regain everything I'd lost, but pretty darn close. Last night I didn't care. I indulged in a large coke, large fries and part of a big mac. (I removed 2 buns and most of the dressing, & I dislike cheese.)

My mom and I have a mini war/bet going on. It's to do with our Farmville (I love this game. If it were a "computer" or a wii game, I'd buy it.) I lost so now I get to do her farm. Last night I told her I didn't care. But that's a lie, I do care.

The thing is-- I've been eating GREAT! My exercise hasn't been totally on point, but my food in the last 2 weeks has been from "scratch," or fresh. Minus the PB & J, or the one serving of mac & cheese. I've been careful to measure servings, eat good and haven't screwed up.

But I gained big.

I did get to a point where I honestly felt like saying, "what's the point." But there is a point. I want to be healthy. I want to get rid of the body I got in part because of my PCOS/infertility issues. I want to buy smaller clothes. I want to not come in last in a race. I want.... a lot of things- and me at this weight is not helping me achieve those things.

I tried to come at it from an educator's background. What do I tell kids in my classroom? At parent/teacher meetings?

Come prepared.
Don't give up.
Anything is possible.
Extra credit, extra tutoring.
Better choices.

I'm going to do some self reflecting and figure out what is seriously going on. I need to get my measurements also.

Running with Angels

I received this book a couple years ago & hadn't read it since. I found it this weekend while cleaning out a closet, so I took it to school with me, so in some down time I could reread.

I got to a point in the book where I made myself stop and reread.

"Suddenly, I did not want to take a walk any more. I wasn't sure why. I just knew... The next morning was the beginning of another beautiful morning. The fresh air brought a welcomed relief to my dampened spirits... however, I had the same experience that I'd had the previous day... Putting one foot in front of the other, I finally completed the circle... I decided I wanted to do it again..."

It hit me hard. I've been having that internal battle. Am I doing enough, I think I am, the scale is moving upward instead of downward. Calorie counting sucks, I get so busy I don't eat. That frustrated feeling isn't a good one... it's that little devil sitting on my shoulder whispering in my ear, "why even do it."

So those 2 pages I read, briefly shared, hit me.

My challenges seem minuscule compared to her-- but they are mine, and to me they are big.

I came home today, dropped my school stuff on the bed, made 3 phone calls I had to do while I laced up my tennis shoes, grabbed our 2 yr old lab/aussie mix and hit the sidewalk.

It felt good.

Run for the Luck of It! (5K, completed)

I did my 2nd 5K of the year this afternoon. Hosted by Sean Kelly's and Runner's Edge. Got there early & there was already a lot of people there!! I was happy that Mr, & N-kid made it. We weren't sure they would.

Lots of people dressed up and it was a mass of green. The race started VERY late. So many late registrations going on. I wonder if they will post just how many. But let me tell you, that line was triple the line of the pre-regi group.

My time wasn't so good. 1 hr, 1 minute and some seconds. I was so bummed. I was dead last. Again.

But again, at least I finished!!! :)

Coolest part of the race was the kick off-- a band of bag pipers- so VERY cool.

Weigh In: 3/10

Back in the saddle!!! And a good loss too!!!

What did I learn: not only check my calories, but check for sodium as well.

Quick stab in the balloon of moto

All day I was working hard. Getting steps in, made up a training plan, printed plan, kept a calorie count... prepared myself for my exercise video I would do when Mr. & N-kid go to hunter's safety.

Then I came home.

Mr. was laid off.
Again.
2nd time in less than a year.
He's only been back full time since right before Christmas.

AAArrrrggghhhh.

I want to eat, lay in bed and cry. The girl scout cookie orders all came in today (3 girls from work, ordered from all 3. Plans were to freeze most.) and I want them. All.

Stress-eater is coming out. I will fight, but my money-fight-i-ness is almost gone. We could very well not pull out of this one... we've exhausted everything we had last time... and we did it. I don't know how much more we can float and paddle.

The envelope for registration for the last post... is on hold on Frida (our fridge.) I'm so bummed at that too....

Walking a Marathon

I've said it before, I think... at least I have to friends and family. I need something to work towards. I've found it! Tonight at the Good Food Store is a 1 hour class on walking a marathon. Going with a friend- and if we do it together, we can keep each other going. Heck, just the fact that I am willing to go to Missoula once a week, twice if I can, should prove something!!

interested to see what they say about it.

Playing on the slopes

I forgot to take a picture of my weigh in. It dawned on me today when I was uploading all the pictures I took of our ski day. (My husband & I skipped work and went with N's 5th grade ski trip.)

My weight was a turtle, so no change. But no picture.

On the ski stuff- my husband grew up skiing. Me? Grew up in Central Texas- we don't believe in snow. Today was me doing a lot of watching, picture taking, helping kids stand up, and I did get in about 2 hours of snow shoeing. I wish I'd worn my pedometer today. My legs, right now, are KILLING ME! I know I'll sleep perfectly wonderful also. We were so excited last night sleep was hard to come by. (For two of us at least!)