Stress eating & heartache.

When I'm happy I don't eat.  When I am sad, I do.
I had a 1/4 pound gain last night...

This morning I woke up to a text saying that a student passed away.  Not just any student, one I had from freshman to senior year.  He's been battling cancer since Christmas.  He's 18.  He graduated in June.

My heart is in a million pieces, his benefit is on Saturday... waiting to hear about his funeral.

going to try to stay away from food while I process.  I feel sick to my stomach.  If you pray, pray for his dad Mike.  It was just the 2 of them. 

It's makeover time

I went through the cabinets and the fridge.

I went through drawers and my closet. (Donated all clothes too big, and way too small.)

I made a weekly menu and alternate for the other family members.

I have my ipod charged.

New shoes broken in.

TOPS retreat this weekend.

CHARGE!!!

Bribery-- it can work.

I'm bribing my 12 year old.  He doesn't get an allowance, but I told him last night that if he can keep me on track I'll pay him $1 a day. 

Keeping me on track means:

*Going on a walk with me
*Making me take him (therefore me) to the Y
*When I suggest eating/snacking after 7pm, telling me it's late
etc, etc, etc.

He's game, I'm game-- it sounds like it could work.
YAY!

Wednesday Morning--

Today is my TOPS weigh in day.  So, on the scale to see what it looks like... 

SCORE!

Official weigh in is at 4:30pm.  But, I'll have a personal loss... as far as a loss with TOPS chart, not sure... it's been 3 weeks since I've been.. and I haven't been tracking very well... But plan to be NOW! 

Which is what counts, right? RIGHT!

Take 2 in 2011

Here is our cheep little scale.  I will be going back to weighing in every day.  Which helps ME keep track of how I am going.  I'm going to find my ipod, haven't seen it since we moved, so I can restart Couch to 5k.  I plan on going to the YMCA at least 2 mornings a week (5am mornings.)

This number to the left.  Made me sad.  But, it's a starting point.  I'm trying to figure out some kind of checks and balances.  I have a little frog bank and thought about putting $$$ in it every time I exercise, lose weight, etc, etc.  But, what about a counter thing-- if I have a gain, don't meet my exercise goal, etc, etc.

What I would really love it a buddy.  Someone who was about my size, wanted to do what I want to do, and we could keep each other up.  It would be even more awesome to have someone IRL to do it with.  But, the only friends I have here are my 12 yr old son, my husband, and my MIL. 

So-- I'm turning to you all!!  What do you do for checks/balances and to keep you on track?  Do you chart?  Do you add stickers, money?  Do share and tell!

Scare tactics & medication

Because of our move, and new job, etc.  We are without health coverage until mid summer.  Leave it to me to get sick.  Super sick.  My crazy strep throat came to attack on Wednesday.  I couldn't swallow without almost passing out from pain.  I talked like I have a mouth full of cotton balls.  So off to urgent care and forking over $100 instead of our normal $20 copay.

He wasn't concerned with my throat.  He was concerned with my blood pressure.  A reading which caught me in a "no way," but maybe it was wrong...  I've had high BP for awhile.  Stopped taking the meds, I know- bad, but thought I was taking control.  Obviously not.  he encouraged ("you had better...") me to get my prescription called in and to take it.  I started taking it on Thursday, and besides feeling light headed, and semi out of body experience, I feel no different. 

But he scared me.  Maybe a scare is what I need.

Tomorrow starts my "Take 2."  We got a scale.  I got my slimfast (because I never eat breakfast, and this works for me,) and I have promised myself to exercise every day.  Even if it's just the walk with the dog in the morning. 

I mean it this time.  Because I don't want to have a stroke, a heart attack, or worse- be dead.  I do want to feel good, not breath hard, and look cute.