Thoughts on BL last night.

This season I've not enjoyed the show much. Too much game play- and I want the stories... vote off's being because they are close to goal, not because they are a major threat to the cash.

Anyhow, I watched last night after spending the last 3 shows fast forwarding through stuff.

I cried. A lot.

The big one-- the "fatselves" talking to the "skinnyselves." Can you imagine? A video log doing that to yourself? I've done a letter- but I think I want to do a video. Might have to create a FrogiNater youtube version of myself.

The other big wake up call came today at inservice. I saw myself on video. My huge, butted self. I saw myself in a way I've not seen myself before- and I looked awful. I was so ashamed... really, really ashamed.

I am by far the biggest person in my workplace. There is one other, but she's almost a foot shorter, so since I'm a foot taller, my weight is just about hers, but I know her number is MUCH lower than mine.

But she wasn't on that video. I was. 3 chins and all. Big belly rolls hidden under a coat, but still there. Round pinchable face. But there.

Now, no one else was watching me, I was in the background. The video wasn't show casing me- just an activity we were a part of last spring and the video was finally finished.

But I saw only me. And I made myself not cry. But at my meeting, and weigh in, I brought it up. Everyone else nodded their heads, but I honestly had no idea "what" I looked like. I've done my fat pictures, I've stared at myself in the mirror.

NOTHING prepared me for that video though.

I'm going to get a copy of it, and I'm going to keep it fresh in my memory. I'm also making sure my food log stays in my school bag and not in my desk at school.

3 days in, my verdict

Tonight was day #3 and I still like the game.

It's a good workout, and I get irritated at them yelling at me. It's easy to follow- until I have to lay down- and the challenges are fun. Seems to go by fast until I grunt.

I really do plan to do this every day. Mr. hasn't played again since I unwrapped it, but Jr. probably will. He likes competitive stuff like this.

I {heart} biggest loser & my wii

And for Christmas I received both- in the form of the game.

Today I tried it out.

Love it!!!

I signed up for an easy one- beginner's, 4 week program. My plan to log in every day. Their goal for me is to lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks.

Let's see what happens!

Biggest Loser, finale thoughts

I've been a fan of the Biggest Loser since the first time I saw it. I didn't have cable, or even a tv, when it first started. But, occasionally, I'd catch it at my moms. Once I was standing on 2 feet again, I watched. Religiously.

I'd cry.
Sometimes I've sit and eat while watching.
Most times I'd exercise.
Then I'd cry some more.

Tonight is no different.

Shay- holy COW! She looked awesome.
Abby, my favorite, looked stunning.

The stories, so many I could relate to... and it tugged at my heart every week. Then I saw how awesome they looked. Then I cried because *I* wanted to be them. I wanted months to work at myself, with the aid of gym memberships and a trainer.

I don't have that, maybe one day I will. However, what I need to learn is to be okay with NOT having it all. With having to budget, having to make smart choicer with cheaper things, how to make myself believe that I can do it on my own-- without the aid of Jillian (who I would take in a heartbeat.)

I'm gonna do it. My step and I have a date, my video's have been dusted off & my head in on board.