Slow and steady.

Tools for Starting

I had known that we would use some of the taxes to get me started on my learning to run. Our state taxes came in & it was time to pick up things I'd researched and wanted. A trip to REI & Runner's Edge, both in Missoula, took most of the afternoon. But I left with a very diminished account, but 2 bags of things to get me started.

The iPOD is from my husband, for Valentine's day. I've been wanting one, but hadn't gotten anything. Even yesterday I kept going back and forth. This morning he said he was sweating bullets when I kept looking at them at every store we went too.

I started reading "Slow Fat Triathlete" on the way to stores and then home. It's very well written, so far.

But I have to admit, it was the name of the book that got me smiling and made me buy it. One of the phrases I tell a lot of people when we talk about diet & exercise, is:

"I may be fat, but I'm certainly not dead."

I'm on my way to being a runner. I've got some great tools to help me get started. I hope to be like the lady in Runner's World, this month, who lost 108 pounds by taking up running. She ran the New York Marathon a year after watching it form her couch. A little over 8 hours to finish. But she finished.

THAT is a hero.

Keepin' steady

Staying on the losing train!! Go me. I've decided to embrace my little numbers. I'm not some big contestant with double digit loses. I'm a normal girl, mother, wife. I'm a teacher of high school kidlins. I have many responsibilities. I am trying to make a lifestyle change that I can keep up with.

For those reasons, I *AM* proud of myself!!!

Feeling sorry for myself.

It was a rough day. Tomorrow will be rougher. Without going into it all- I had some hopes, that instead were crushed. Hopes that I was telling myself I didn't care about- but anyone who knows me, knows otherwise.

While watching a movie just now, I heard/saw this:

"This is your life. Right now. It doesn't wait for you to get back on your feet."

I like this quote... a lot.

You aren't even fat.

That's not what someone said to me, but instead what I said to a co-worker.

Basically this week was semester exam week. A very boring sort of time for us really- we had a lot of downtime. However, once a day for about 30 minutes 3 of us would get together and clothes shop online while we had a chance. The sites we looked at were the same, though I was very much a different size than them.

H & M are probably the 2 I talk with the most at school. They are size 6-8, me? I'm a 20W. M is trying to lose about 10 pounds, she's a tiny little thing, maybe 5 foot. H is taller, about 5'6" and has taken up running when school started because people keep asking her if she's pregnant. She's literally turned into a twig with boobs. However, yesterday she was complaining that she was asked yet again if she was pregnant. I suggested maybe it was because she had lost so much and now her chest looked so big in comparison. She said nope, it was because of her pooch. Which is seriously, not there. But, went on and on about how fat she was and how she needed to lose another 20 pounds.

My jaw did fall of my face, because afterwards she asked what was wrong. When I told her my theory- that yes, I was fat, yes I was trying to lose, and yes I got pregnant comments- but that she looked awesome and anything but fat. She just laughed and said our fat was different.

Ummmmm....

So I came home and couldn't stop thinking about it. Granted, I've never been a size 6. The smallest size I can recall was a 12, in junior high, and 14's all through high school and college. I'm taller, 5'11", and bigger boned, my hips bones stick out. I still can't stop thinking about her comment...

I'm not totally sure why it bothers me so much. Except for the fact that she is so unhappy in her own skin. I'm happy in mine- not content, but happy. I've embraced that this is me- all it'simperfections and rolls. I am content to work on myself and to bring my body on a trip to healthier and weighing less. Shopping for smaller sizes too.

Anyhow.. I'm rambling, but I had to perge it...

Clap.

In my TOPS group, a weigh in where you stay the same is a "turtle." We give a single clap. Today, that's what I got. We also went over January stats, where I lost 3 pounds for the month, recording not a SINGLE gain the entire month. Three cheers for ME!!!


I still feel really awful. I've done my challenge of 10 minutes of actively doing exercise, but not much else, other than feeding my son and sleeping. So a turtle was welcomed. A lot.