Summer Vacay craziness.

A full month of visitors and my weight is up- 303.2--- but not by much!

As of today we have peace and quiet again.  YAY!

Was worried...

I've dreaded weighing in since I had the week of "whatever."  However, I promised myself that no matter, I'd do it before Monday.  This morning I stepped on.  Looked in disbelief and stepped off, only to redo it.

The result- 301.2!

Which means, even though I took a week off, I still managed to not go crazy and even managed to LOSE weight in the 14 days since I weighed in last.  CHEERS!!  1.4 pounds of loss.

This coming week involves a trip to Boise, some family drama, and a BIG test that I've got to take/pass.  This test is my 4th time trying it.  It's math, I despise math, and I'm freaking out about it again.  The times I've taken it I've only missed it by 1-4 questions.  Which hurts my head even more.

This week I will work on not letting the stress win, maintaining my water levels, and continuing with my movement and exercise.  My first short term goal is within my grasp.  I hope to have in reached in the next 2 weeks.

Vacation

We've been playing with family from out of state all week.  I've not cared about much of anything expect having a good time with them.  We've gone hiking, went to the zoo, spent most of our time outdoors, and have just had a LOT of fun.

I was planning on weighing in this morning.  However, instead I made them a hot breakfast and enjoyed some myself.  I didn't want my weight to be different as I usually eat AFTER I weigh.  So, tomorrow we'll see how I did.

First week down.

Starting is always easy, staying with it is the trick.  That's where I've fallen.. where I've come to forget what I want.  I've talked with my good friends, my husband, and even my 17 year old.  They know that I want this.  I've spent the last year doing nothing but school, work, and family.  Literally.  I've gained a lot of pounds, but I reached the goal I needed.

But, then I looked at the price.  My health.

This summer is about me.  About my need to regain the health I had.  My goal is to lose weight, but mostly just to become active again.  I have attached no pounds to the summer, but I would love to lose at least 20.

I weighed this morning, Sunday's or Monday's are going to be my day.  Really, Sunday will be easier because my husband wants to do this also.

My weigh in was:  302.6 pounds.
A loss of 3.4 pounds.

I talked to my friend yesterday while we were having a pedi and sushi.  She asked what I've done this week.  Truth be known, not a whole lot.  I've only concentrated on drinking more water.  However, I have allowed for some Dr Pepper.  I've concentrated on eating more veggies and fruits.  However, I have enjoyed chips & dip as well.

I don't want to give up anything.  I want to do this my way and that means occasionally having food that isn't so good for me.

This week I'm going to focus on more movement. Starting out slow because of my "bad body."  (Bad knees, bad feet, bad ankle, and possibility of easy dislocations.)  Here is to week 2!

Summer '16 goals

I'm seriously embarrassed by the lack of posting.  Over a year.... and the numbers shows it.

Today I start my "summer."  I'm working on kicking out my soda habit.  I'm going to exercise, because I've seriously done nothing in the last year but school, work, be a mom, sleep, and school some more.

I weighed this morning at 306.

Then I cried.

Then I put on exercise clothes, took my pills/vitamins, reviewed my pinterest health and exercise boards, logged on to this, and made a commitment to myself.

I will use this summer wisely.  I will make a difference in myself and my well being.  I will not treat my body as a dumping ground.

Now, I'm off to plant my stuff in our new garden, we've moved/bought a house, and then whack the hell out of my new thingie in the garage.

Weigh in #2 in 2015

Weigh In #2, 1/11/2015

I wasn't sure I wanted to step on the scale this morning.  I've been hit and miss this week, my first full week of being on track.  I know that it was a "real" week for me.  I was pretty good, but not perfect.  I packed lunches, but we did eat out 2 meals.  I stayed late at work a couple nights, and even had a day where I stuck my face mostly in front of the computer.

But look!  I lost!  I even lost more than I hoped.  I'd just hoped to be under the 290, not that I would be that far under.  2 pound under it makes me smile.  Smile big.

I've not really started to exercise yet.  I did it a bit and my left calf was screaming at me.  Little by little, no need to run a marathon right now.

What we conquered!

 Summer of 2014 was intense.  It all started with me, we'd found out, via all things, exercise, that my Achilles was behaving badly.  I didn't want surgery until I absolutely had to- and in the spring of 2014, I knew it was time.  Walking hurt and my limp was significant.  An updated x-ray showed that the growth had changed.  The MRI proved that I had no cartilage in most of my foot- the other foot most likely the same.  Doc J wasn't sure how the surgery was going to proceed- but he's figured it would be an hour.  Surgery was scheduled for June 4th, the last week of school, purposely done because he wanted me off it for 3 months.  This way I would be ready to go back to work/school.

 Then in May my husband's heart murmur, which he's had his entire life, decided to behave badly as well.  His appointment, which we didn't think I needed to be there for, as I was saving all my time, ended with a "you need to have surgery now.  Cath lab and begging "can't it wait until October," didn't work in our favor.  They wanted it the 20th of May.  Husband pushed it back, because of my surgery, which I'd planned on pushing back.  But, secretly, I think he just didn't want his birthday to be spent in the hospital.  His surgery was schedule less than 2 weeks after mine.

My surgery ended up being just over 2 hours.  The removed a significant amount of my Achilles and then a section of tendon from my foot to rebuild it.  Doc J promised to send me a picture of him (I begged to keep it, but was told every time- no.)  He did text it to me and it was amazing.

The Hubs mom lives in the same town we do.  My mom came up from my hometown in Texas to help as well, arriving just 3 days after my surgery.    Hubs and I were a hot mess.  My mom took care of me and the house, while Hubs mom took him to appt's and his actual surgery.  I had a post op appt the morning of his surgery.  I couldn't walk, he couldn't lift.  His scars healed faster and prettier than mine.  Today, 6 months out, you would never know he'd been opened however, I still have a limp and am recovering slowly.

I remember how scared we were, it was a tough summer.  My body reacted to the stress and pain by sucking on the pounds, 30 to be exact.  But, I'm not scared anymore, at least in the same way.  Instead, I am scared that my body is going to backfire on me.  I've been so naughty to it and I need to stop.  I've noticed that I am not feeling good most of the time and I hate that feeling.  It's time to take back my life.  I do have 6 more months before I'm released, so I will be careful.  But, I am going to take a stand and make sure I am more in the moment with what I am doing.

My official weigh in- Day #1

292.2 on 1/1/15.

My goal is simple- to go down.

My hope, is to not see 290-anything EVER again.

2014 sucked, I won't let 2015.

It's been a LONG time since I've blogged.  Life has been insane and my body, unfortunately, shows it.  I'm at my heaviest and when I realized it yesterday, I pretty much cried.  

I could blame my Achilles replacement this summer.  6 months of recovery so far, another 6 months to go.  I could blame a new job, on top of going to school, my husband needing heart surgery, and other family drama.  I could keep going on those blames.

Or, I could be very honest and admit, that while my life in the last 7 months has been chaotic as all get out... I also have been slacking.  I've been drinking soda on a near daily basis.  I've not been allowed to exercise like I was, but I was too "I don't like it" with trying new things that I *could* do.  I spent my time laying on the couch or bed, watching movies and reading.  I've become a homebody-- and because of my own choices- my body is suffering.

Bring on 2015, I need to restart.  And I am going to do it.

The MVWLC is starting up tomorrow, we just don't have the funds to do it.  However, I am going to start blogging again and will do my own challenge for myself.

Meet Earl, it's all his fault, right?

 

I kind of dropped of the face of the exercise world didn't I?  Well, meet Earl.  That funky little thing in the picture, cock your head to the left and it looks a little bit like a mouse?  That's Earl and the reason I was told "no."  Exercising for my city Weight Loss challenge made me find it.  I was also on crutches and basically told to do nothing more than walking.  It was a HARD blow.  I had done so well, and the weight slowly crept back on.  I am holding off on surgery as it's not "needed" right now.  Basically my Achilles is calcifying, which is pretty bizarre, to me.  I will need surgery, but am waiting since it's not a have to do it right now kind of thing. Instead it's a "wonder how fast it's growing" and be careful.  I've found that biking, slowly, doesn't cause much of a problem.  So I've been looking and found an old spin bike at a thrift store for $10, guess who bought it? Me!

The school year is fast approaching and I will be working myself slowly back into a routine to hopefully get myself back to where I was when I found Earl. 

I'm not sure if anyone is even out there anymore, I'm so ashamed, but I am dedicated and plan to figure something out (more diet than exercise probably) to get me back on track.

MVWLC = Bad Mojo

Okay, so signing up for a weight loss challenge can't make you do horribly, but it has seemed that way for me.  Good grief, can I not catch a break.  I swear I have been in the doc office more since January when I signed up for MVWLC that that last 3 years total.  No lie!

Sadly, my weight is up, my officially weigh in on Friday said 272.8.  I almost cried, if I hadn't almost fallen while trying to get up on the scale.  (Ankle/foot issues, xrays and further treatment to be discussed Monday.  Was to be Friday, but the PA didn't do as promised and call me right back, instead, I was his last appt and he went home.)

Anyhow-- I'm promising myself no more soda, which I've gotten into big again in the last month.  I'm going back to SP, which I did this morning, and I will exercise as I can.  Making sure I don't hurt my foot even more.

The pictures I am showing are from my Wii Fit time.  I couldn't believe that I actually made my goal, holy cow.  And I know the age is just subjective to how well you play the 2 games they want you to do, but still.

 

I've got crabs.

(Part of my notes I took from my MVWLC motivational class last month.)

"Ever been to a fish market, seen a big bucket of crabs? There are always 2 or 3 trying to get out. But what isn't amazing is that, instead it's that other crabs are there pulling on them trying to make them stay in.

Everyone has someone (family/coworkers/friends) who want you to stay in with them (you don't need to lose weight, you look good the way you are, be happy with yourself, etc..) but you need to get to the point where you can stand up to them and tell them why you need to do that. (I weigh 300 pounds, I do not look great the way I am.)"

I love my husband, even when he ticks me off.  He's a good man with a kind heart.  He treats my son like his own and has loved us forever it feels like.  However, he's my biggest, strongest, most powerful crab.

When we got married I was around 210.  I'd worked *SO* hard to get down to that weight and I felt *SO* good!  Little by little my weight has crept up, not quite to my heaviest ever, but so close to it that I get freaked out.  My hubster doesn't seem to mind.  He brings me stuff all the time.  I'll mutter how much a banana split blizzard (my fave) sounds fantastic, and one will magically appear.  We'll decide to have some place for dinner instead of cooking because of the schedule that day and he'll biggie size it to the biggest they have.  I made a comment that I was going to give up soda, my morning crutch on bad/stressful days (would stop by sonic on my way to school when I knew it would be one of those days.  Anyhow, he's brought me soda home. Almost  every day for the last week and a half.  Because my tooth has been hurting (I guess soda is a miracle cure) and because I was getting sick (flu bug going around school.)

He medicates with food... and I think I might have to figure out a way to kill him off in boiling water. 

KILL THE CRAB!!!

I'm not sure how to fix this... I was doing really well, and he's been sneaking up on me.  I can't be rid of him, married to the dude.  And when I say something about my feet hurting, or I'm too tired to exercise, or anything- he's the first person to agree with me and say I've worked so hard I should just go to bed, or lay down, or whatever.

And yes, I could throw it all away.. but what a waste.  Money is tight, our medical bills are sky high, so we are careful about spending/wasting.  It would kill me to toss out perfectly good (though not good for me) food.

Evaluating January

Okay, for the month I am down 6 pounds!

I am 7 pounds off where I wanted to be.

But like a wise man said, don't look at what you didn't do, look at what you did do.

I did lose 6 pounds.  Gone forever. 

Let's be realistic, losing 0.5 pounds a day is a BIG lofty goal.  I knew that, but was told to try to shoot for the moon, not just the stars.  So I did.  I know that I could catch up.  I also know that I might never.  But I'm going to just keep on moving on.

Making up my new goal sheet for February later today.  New month-- fresh month!

Another weekly Wednesday....

So, I was a little nervous to get on the scale this morning.  I overslept, not feeling very good (blasted allergies!) and just worried in general.  I've not had  any luck keeping track of food or exercise this week.  It's the first week of the semester- my stress is HIGH.  New kids, same course, but that getting to know them, figuring out seating charts, who needs what, what needs who-- first couple weeks are a nightmare.

And my keeping track of food has helped.... so this week?  I expected to be up, after all- on Saturday I *WAS* up.  Today, I wasn't.

I'm at 258.2 pounds.
My goal was to be at 261 pounds.

I'm ahead of my goal by 2.8 pounds.

Not bad, not bad....
I could be doing better...
But I'm not going to let that drag me down.

This weight loss crap (let's face it, it is crap) is enough of a downer, that I don't need to be more of a downer.  I've exercised and I've been eating all of my meals.  Haven't been drinking as much water.. but I'm drinking at least half of what I should.  Which is amazing.  Heck, just me eating every meal is amazing.  :)

Mid week weigh in, outta the 260's!

Do you see that number?  I haven't seen that number in a LONG time!!!

WAHOOOOOOOO!!!

White girl can't cardio pump

I tried a new class tonight at the YMCA. 

"Cardio Pump."

I spent about an hour talking myself into going... I don't know why it's so hard for me to go, I never regret it... I guess it's more of I want someone to go with.  A friend to enjoy my misery with. 

Anyhow- I went!  And it was basically like a step class with no step, just on the ground.  Which is great- I *LOVE* step!!  So I was all gung ho, and about 20 minutes in, after a zillion (okay, like 20) squats- I thought my thighs would give out on me.  Then we got into more dance stuff.

Let me tell you, this white girl has got no groove.  I accidentally moved into the range of the mirrors-- oh the horror of seeing myself!  I looked like a fish flopping on the sand.  It was awful.  But, I kept plowing along.  Then I was watching the clock, class started at 5:30, there was a 6:30 TurboKick class (which I planned on going to also) and it was 6:20.  People were lining up in the hallway and peeking in.  Then I heard giggling...

I know the laughing could have been anything... and people peeking in-- well, people do that.  *I* do that.  But my inner idiot told me, "Melzie-- they are laughing at your fat @ss in hot pink pants, trying to move and lose weight."  I couldn't shut up II, I did try... it was rather depressing... and I felt my arms failing more and more. 

At 6:30 she ended the class, and all the hot people walked in (okay, not everyone was hot- but 97% of them were) and I was even more horrified by who might have seem me.  Thankfully, there were no kids from school there.  Last week (during TurboKick) there were 2!  I'm proud that I stayed, lol.)

Now as I relax after a super hot shower, wishing my legs would work better than they do (ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch) and wishing I had some groove to my swing-- I am glad I went.  I'm not glad I heard laughter... but I guess if I would to see a hot pink, panted fish on the sand... I might giggle also.

End of week #1- review

Today is the end of my first week of the MVWLC, so my weigh in is important.

Ignore my toes, they need help, but look at that number!!  My official weigh in was 270 (by their scale) my scale said 269.8.  So by their scale I should be 263.6-- but no matter how you want to play the numbers---

I am down 6.6 pounds!!!!!!

According to my spread sheet I should be at the 267 mark today and I blew it away.  Even with yesterday showing a gain of 0.6.

I've mainly been watching calories (dinner on Wednesday night of pizza and a glass of soda killed my calorie count, which is why I suspect I was up) mostly.  With some exercise built in, but not concentrating on that very much either.  I want to master this food thing first.

Spin class, you will not defeat me.

It's been a long time since I've been in a spin class... over a year.  This morning I went to one.  I lasted 30 minutes before I started dry heaving and thought I was going to pass out.  I got so hot and felt not good.  So I slowed myself down (hello Mel, you just got back to it, stop being a superhero and keeping pace to the uber spin chick next to you) and quietly left.

I even forgot my waterbottle.  DANG IT ALL!
(actually that is okay, I hated that water bottle anyhow!)

My goals for this year....

I'm doing them fairly simple.

1.  Drink more. 
2.  Move more.
3.  Stay positive.


1.  I drink a lot when I'm in school.  But when I'm home, I stop for some reason.  So, I'm hoping to keep with it an ddrink at least 3-4 glasses when I get home form school and before bed. 

2.  Move- whatever it is.  I like classes, and I'm a member at our local YMCA.  I'm out of shape now (how quickly that happens when you stop) but I am building it back up.  I also plan to move more in my classroom, gotta find my pedometer!

3.  Not that I'm the most negative person ever, but I need to focus on the good and not linger on the bad.  I stress out for everything, even people I hardly know.  I need to just let it go and not take it in.  If that makes any kind of sense at all!

MVWLC- here I go!!

I did something for me-- I joined the MVWLC. Weigh in was today and I weighed in at 270.  Th efinal weigh in is Junee 22.  My goal is to lose 50 pounds.  I would love to lose 60, but I know 50 is doable... what I woul REALLY love to do is to be out of the 200's by summer... and I met some people who were able to do that last year.

I've given my blog a new look, and I will be updating at least once a week to say how I'm doing.  I'm going to move more, drink lots of water and to keep track of my calories. 

I've also recommitted myself to spark people.