Sunday, February 3, 2013

I've got crabs.

(Part of my notes I took from my MVWLC motivational class last month.)

"Ever been to a fish market, seen a big bucket of crabs? There are always 2 or 3 trying to get out. But what isn't amazing is that, instead it's that other crabs are there pulling on them trying to make them stay in.

Everyone has someone (family/coworkers/friends) who want you to stay in with them (you don't need to lose weight, you look good the way you are, be happy with yourself, etc..) but you need to get to the point where you can stand up to them and tell them why you need to do that. (I weigh 300 pounds, I do not look great the way I am.)"

I love my husband, even when he ticks me off.  He's a good man with a kind heart.  He treats my son like his own and has loved us forever it feels like.  However, he's my biggest, strongest, most powerful crab.

When we got married I was around 210.  I'd worked *SO* hard to get down to that weight and I felt *SO* good!  Little by little my weight has crept up, not quite to my heaviest ever, but so close to it that I get freaked out.  My hubster doesn't seem to mind.  He brings me stuff all the time.  I'll mutter how much a banana split blizzard (my fave) sounds fantastic, and one will magically appear.  We'll decide to have some place for dinner instead of cooking because of the schedule that day and he'll biggie size it to the biggest they have.  I made a comment that I was going to give up soda, my morning crutch on bad/stressful days (would stop by sonic on my way to school when I knew it would be one of those days.  Anyhow, he's brought me soda home. Almost  every day for the last week and a half.  Because my tooth has been hurting (I guess soda is a miracle cure) and because I was getting sick (flu bug going around school.)

He medicates with food... and I think I might have to figure out a way to kill him off in boiling water. 


I'm not sure how to fix this... I was doing really well, and he's been sneaking up on me.  I can't be rid of him, married to the dude.  And when I say something about my feet hurting, or I'm too tired to exercise, or anything- he's the first person to agree with me and say I've worked so hard I should just go to bed, or lay down, or whatever.

And yes, I could throw it all away.. but what a waste.  Money is tight, our medical bills are sky high, so we are careful about spending/wasting.  It would kill me to toss out perfectly good (though not good for me) food.